General feedback

Here are some of the discoveries and experiences of the newcomers to the recent workshop:

My Sister the Moon, My Brother the Moon
Haarlem, Netherlands
April 9 & 10, 2005

Before anything I would like to give thanks, the seminar was really magical. I had never had the opportunity to practice the Magical Passes with so many people. It was very pleasant to be with so many people practicing the passes, especially when we were in a circle because it gave me the sensation of stability and unity. It was awesome with the music!.
When you told us to give a feet massage to your partner I was shocked at first but then I became curious. When I started, it wasn't so different then when I did it with myself but when I was in the receiving end it was so pleasant. What I liked the best was when I was "traveling" with my fingers between my ribcage, it was interesting to caress myself! .
What I learned from saying what it is to be a woman from the womb, is that I am "within" the earth and that I can perceive my surroundings, in all directions.
I had a broader view upon practicing the passes from the Moon. It was like taking a distance from myself and I could see the reasons of my behavior and my attitude.
When we left on Saturday we had the assignment to speak from our womb with another woman. But, of course! I forgot. We were talking on the way to the train station with two of my partners and at the end I remained speaking with one of them. It was very entertaining, we were laughing. Suddenly I realized I was speaking from my womb.
It was something I had done before without realizing it. What I did recognized was the honest and pure connection that sometimes I communicated with some people. I suppose that is why I always liked communicating or being with animals, trees or plants. There was always that sincerity with them.
Now I have consciously tried to speak from my womb and curiously seeing that sometimes there is emptiness, there is silence. Other times people avoid me or they approach to speak to me without anything else. It's like a filter, if sometimes it's good we let it go by and other times better if they don't approach, for what!

When the gentlemen entered I notice their strong presence. When we shared our ideas of what it meant to be a woman or a man with a partner, I saw that in general they were very similar to mine. There were small differences, men because they were men and women being that they were a different gender than mine. The idea of being at the mercy of values that society imposes over us was more or less clear to me, but when I was speaking to both of them I realized how deeply we are sold to this idea and somehow it seemed a bit sad.
At the end of the seminar, while practicing the Magical Passes together, the music, it all seemed like a party, an overall celebration of life, with a lot of happiness and harmony.

During the seminar I was not really aware of what was taking place within me. It was only afterwards that I realized a huge difference. Let say that lately, since 10 years ago, I've been conscious of being lost and somehow I have tried to find myself. It helped to read Castaneda's books and other authors. It was also very important to practice the Magical Passes even though I stopped for a couple of years. About a year a go I started practicing meditation and Tai Chi. Just about when I was fed up with myself the courses were free of charge (how convenient! If God squeezes, sometimes quite a bit, but it won't drown you). With meditation, specially the first time, I noticed that I was part of the whole universe (something like that). It was incredible and for a couple of days I remained in this state of "peace", quite impressive (its too bad that I have not been able to reach the same experience!) With Tai Chi, after some time and effort, I have notice much stability and tranquility. The day would not flow when I didn't practice Tai chi, it seemed like I would get stuck, specially when I would interact or communicate with people (it was not pleasant for them nor for myself) Now I know that practicing Tai Chi would help me to speak from my womb! Being in the seminar and practicing the Magical Passes, both sensations, better said realities! They have come together and the end result is something complete, united, a sphere and most of all more joyous.
The toy that you showed us at the beginning to explain Tensegrity was also very useful. It helped me to see how the body moves and to be more conscious.

Thank you for everything,

I found my first workshop-experience the most pleasing one. I felt really good during the workshop and afterwards, a totally relaxed, openminded and uplifting state of being. The energy of the mass was a really strong feeling. During the evenings I felt like after a good sauna and it was great to perceive the world more vividly, everything was interesting to perceive.

The practice of the magical passes with the men was intense and very focused, I felt like I'm ready for anything that comes to my way. The phrase "to be ready" was one of my main conclusions of what it is to be a man. To me it means to act directly and fluidly to anything that happens without doubts, perceiving all the thing that interest me at that moment and not missing my chance. But then in the end my conclusion was simply "to be", which means to me that it doesn't really mean anything "to be a man." To be a being is the point, but to be ready is still useful.

I really liked Joining forces for an instant, it made me feel satisfactory of the teamwork and also a sensation of being ready. I also especially liked the moon form with the sounds for dreaming. It was really a mystical and calming experience which made me feel coherent with the universe. Sounds very dramatic, but its not that serious;)
Meeting the females at Sunday was like going to church, except more exciting! Overall the people that I met were great and the way how easy it was to meet new interesting people from different parts of the world was probably the best part for me…

As a man, practicing the magical passes with only men was invaluable. It provided a magic mirror in which I could see myself from all sides. A truly fascinating tool for exploring one's nature, discovering qualities often overlooked or suppressed. One such quality is gentleness, which in the past I rarely if ever associated with men. I cannot express how refreshing that discovery acts on my being.

'Joining forces' was fascinating. The feeling of becoming one cohesive unit and the power accumulated when we come together to channel our energy for a common goal made me feel strong, integrated, sensitive and fluid.

I have not seen my father since I was seven, when he left home. He was claimed as 'the bad one' and as a result of my utter disappointment with him I never made an effort to connect. Being a part of the workshop made me realize that by not knowing who my father is, I do not know who am I, to a very big extent.

Joining the women on Sunday was particularly enriching. Dancing the magical passes with those beings with wombs expanded my perception of both women and men and made me see, above all and with intense clarity, not our differences but our common nature as perceivers on the path of liberation through awareness.

I strongly feel these couple of days in Haarlem mark a turning point in my life journey. A path with heart opened up from all sides. There is an entirely new quality of perception present which makes me see the world with eyes fresh and compassionate. I witnessed a room full of men and women dreaming, breathing, dancing their lives together. How Magical! It made me feel the immense potential of being. It made me feel the total interconnectedness of all beings. It made me stronger, yet gentler. I thank you with a heart in flight.

The first form of the Moon was intense, very much so, and when we sat down and it was my turn to witness, I had a lot more calmness and confidence to start talking! I immediately jumped into the memory that had reminded me of one of my thoughts about my being a man.
And I faced the awareness of NOT HAVING BEEN UP TO THE SITUATION.
We did Joining Forces again, and when the instructor told us that we had to insert into the witnessing and stalking exercise a familiar person who inspired the type of reaction we had told in the previous account, I started to work on myself again, helped by my two witnesses. And at a certain moment, suddenly, I had full awareness that….
that nasty way of reacting to others by attacking and overpowering them with violence (something I had always thought was inherited from my mother's irascible behavior) was, on the contrary, THE EXACT COPY OF MY FATHER'S BEHAVIOR TOWARDS ME AND MY MOTHER WHENEVER HE COULD NOT TAME OUR FREE SPIRIT, AND THUS, NOT FEELING UP TO US, HE TRIED TO OVERPOWER US!!!
IT WAS A SHOCK!!!
ALL MY LIFE I HAD GIVEN MY MOTHER THE BLAME FOR THIS KIND OF BEHAVIOR!
I MADE HER PAY FOR THIS THOUGHT OF MINE IN A THOUSAND WAYS (children, I must say, can really be pitiless whenever their parents are concerned)
AND THEN…IN THE END… I REALIZE THAT SHE WAS NOT THE CAUSE OF MY HATEFUL BEHAVIOR!!!!!!!
HOW BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!!!
During the witnessing exercise I HAVE FORGIVEN MY FATHER, AND I FINALLY RELEASED A PART OF ME THAT WAS CHILDISH AND STILL BLOCKED!
This part of my being a man, that left me, was so deep that initially I didn't feel the difference that much. I felt it in the following days, more and more.
The anger I had towards certain forms of power had gone,
my desire to fight against these forms of power had gone,
the desire to destroy my mother had finally gone, now I look at her and love her with my eyes… and she feels it!
And my father??? I'm working with the purpose of telling him that I love him.

THE PASS OF POWER has been a splendid help in facing this new awareness.

…After two days of intensive practice and separation, each prepared for his/her own type of energy to the meeting…we finally entered into the room of the feminine energyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!
It was a beautiful sensation. I had the clear feeling that we, the men, were like a course of clean water flowing as silently as possible into the golden and shiny lake of the feminine energy, mixing with it.
AND WE ALL BECAME OF A DIFFERENT COLOR.
At the beginning we labored a little to be able to mix the two energies…… but when at the end we made it (the form of the Moon had mixed us all together) it was……IT WAS.

The last JOINING FORCES in groups of 12 people opened my heart completely. In the moment in which we were silent, after having declared out loud our new intent, I started hearing all the others; we were sweet and strong, silent and cold…..like very light waves we drifted here and there in the circle we had made, we touched each other, we mixed together to end up on our own…in a moment I received a thousand physical sensations.

Thank you

Dear instructors of the magical passes,
Who opened such a new and wide range of possibilities,

Here is my account of the Haarlem workshop. First, I will tell about the women's specifics. What was very well mastered is that we all got together, between women, all looking at each other, and the first thing Nyei told us, after presenting all the countries present, was that we needed to suspend our judgements about opinions, and why we needed to do that. I have the feeling every woman in the hall did so, in any case I managed to do it and I think the others did it too because there were no pretence, and no one seemed self-conscious doing the passes or talking in front of others. What I felt personally was closeness with the other women, the link between us being that abstract concept, the womb, which at the end of the weekend was not so abstract anymore. I also felt that suspending opinion made me feel lighter, and more at ease in mind and, surprisingly, body (or was it that I "knew" the other women suspended their judgement too?). Now I try to recreate the feeling at home, don't judge, suspend, and I succeed doing so! Well, to be honest, not always, but much more than before. But still need to work on it… Maybe it's because I can link this no-judgement feeling to some concrete experience?

Voicing the "what is a woman" with the womb… I must admit that I was sceptical about the feeling-the-womb part. Maybe it worked for others, but my body is often so tense that all its sensations seem to be on the surface (except a few aches), so feeling that inside space was in the realms of science fiction. And I felt it!!! I felt my womb during that exercise. An inside spot, dark, soft, welcoming. My description of women before the exercise was the classical one, what I saw of myself and friends, mother, etc. Trying to please men, to be pretty and seduce, to be smart, patient, funny, good at sex, to shop and love clothes. In the meantime I knew theoretically that a woman was way more, but I chose to write what I saw in me and around me. And after the magical pass, I felt physically what a woman really is (but doesn't know most of the time, and need to be remembered): heavy and light at the same time, close to the ground, receptivity, a silent force, dark and connected to the earth with every part of her body (specifically the womb, which I couldn't believe I was feeling), absolute suppleness (if she's not judging). No need to say I've done this pass almost every day since I came back from Haarlem, along with the Moon Form, which has a way of slowing my inner dialogue. Obviously it doesn't stop it, I need to practice much more, but now I see it as a possibility, like feeling the womb.

About practicing the Moon Form and stalking my relation to other women, it was a continuation of what I said earlier. Suspending judgement, then stalking my little resentments, and doing the Form, all of these narrow-minded attitudes appeared so shallow and unimportant, I felt they really didn't belong to me, or anyone, and I understood what it meant to lose energy with opinions, and how futile these opinions often are (as opposed to energetic facts). That's something else I took home with me, to feel it with the Moon Form made my day-to-day stalking more efficient, added a new dimension to it, I can go down deeper now. Paola's story moved me a lot, and made me reconsider aspects of my relationship with my mother, but also with my father, at a distance though because they live a thousand kilometres away from me. I also, in the course of a stalking exercise (the second?), polished my link to my younger brother. All of this confirmed a decision to do recapitulation intensively when I finish my studies (this summer). I'd learn so much more.

As for speaking from the womb to another woman, it didn't work very well for me, unless you count as that the feeling of connectedness with all the women at the workshop. But I'm not too worried about it; I guess it will develop with practice. I have female friends at home who were very eager to try and practice some magical passes and I hope at one point we'll be able to do so.

When the "gentlemen of energy" joined us on the Sunday afternoon, I was a bit "shy" and not so comfortable at first, because I had enjoyed so much the feeling of being only with women. But doing the Moon Form all together made that feeling go away, to realise themselves are, like us, jailed in stereotypes, and that responsibility is a hard prison for them. I felt they are like us in a way, but that we're more solid because of the womb. What I saw then is their enthusiasm at stalking, which was the same I felt in women, and that it could be a strong bond between genders. Sharing our views was very rich, too.
With the practice of the magical passes I feel a great calm, which at the same time is extremely energising. As I said earlier, it helps my inner dialogue to quiet down, and that is a great relief. Since the workshop I've been practicing every day, maybe not all of them every day, but at least some, to recapture the feelings of well being I experienced in Haarlem. And it works. My friends, to whom I showed some passes, feel it too. What was strange is that I was able to remember most of the movements, because I tried to trust my body to do so. I practiced some martial arts before, but I think I have an approach that is too much based on my mind and I need to trust my body more. Which I try to do, and I was amazed to see it had an effect on my tai chi chuan practice too, I ask my body to remember what my teacher says, and later at home when I practice I see it retained so much information! Obviously for the tensegrity movements I learnt at the workshop, I was not able to remember them all, like the very first step of the Moon Form, even if I remembered all the others.

Another thing, stalking body positions is amazing. I've seen so many that are deeply imprinted in me. When I'm able to see them I usually take deep breaths and drop my shoulders, concentrate on the muscles of my face (which I massage when needed), and relax. But they come back, and back. But now I know they're here, at least. Before that I only stalked my moods and reactions, it makes stalking a very complete exercise!!!

As you have guessed reading this letter my experience at the workshop was very rich and had an effect on a lot of aspects of my daily life…

…Again, inadequate thank you words, and more adequate thank you feelings to all, In affection and hoping to learn more at a following workshop,

a new practitioner from Belgium.

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