Here is a representative sample of the abundant feedback we received from the participants of the workshop at Shambhala Mountain Center in Colorado. Thank you to all of you who wrote!

The Rise of the Plumed Serpent
Shambhala Mountain Center, Colorado
July 31, August 1, 2 & 3, 2008

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What an incredible and magic experience attending the workshop at the beautiful Shambhala Mountain! The weekend was so intense and rich as an entire lifetime. I just felt so incredibly lucky of being there between those powerful mountains and amongst incredible beings in search of the truth and connection to infinity!

I was delighted by witnessing to the major connection happening between both the Tensegrity and Tibetan traditions. The Rimpoche talk and his relation of Tibetan terms with other Tensegrity terminology looked at times odd, at times so obvious and natural that I wondered what brought to this incredible shift.

In my list of apologies my mum stood up in first place. I felt I had to apologize for so often having judged her for being neither a smart or knowledgeable person or ever got a degree in her life. I acknowledged how painful must have been for her dealing with my arrogant behavior and that she was truly magical and beautiful and loved her exactly as she was.

After practicing Gazing with the Ears Magical Pass on the right body side for two times and sharing my apologies to my witness, my body position was getting more and more uncomfortable and tensed. I felt annoyed and forced to make apologies. Moreover, from that body view I did not feel connected to what I wrote and felt more as I was reciting a play.

My left body view was completely different; my body position was much more open and relaxed, I was breathing and none of the thoughts I had since a moment before were valid anymore, instead love was flowing out my chest for this being that gave me birth as well as for the witness in front of me.

From the both body view I had a more clear explanation of what was going on and could see the scene from a broader prospective; I could see that the confusion and fears came from my right body; the fact that I was admitting my mistakes in front of my mum made my right body shake. Moreover, there was a new stream of thoughts flowing in my mind; it felt like accessing a knowledge I did not know to have the moment before. I realized that intelligence is a very delicate matter, lying in a place far away from just getting degrees and I could see how smart and clever and incredible my mom was and this time I could sense every word I thought with my whole body.

After sharing my view in the circle and listening to those of others I realized how incredible is when the two bodies cooperate together. In that connection is where the magic happens, where the incredible openings of the left body are given direction and purpose by the right body. That meant evolving to me. I was in awe by the possibility of realizing this achievement in daily life activities and relationships.

I was very intrigued by those clear shifts of perception from the right, left and both bodies.

As the day passed a part of me was completely delighted and in love with the mountains, the meditations in the mornings, the magical passes and the talks. On the other side, my resistance to apologize to my mum was kicking in at every corner. I was clinging to a familiar sensation of disappointment and sadness in thinking and judging her.

This sensation was even reinforced after the second stalking exercise, when we found a scene connected to the apology. It was a scene happened three years before when I went home to visit my family after a long absence. At that time I had gained around 20 pounds and that for my mum was just unbearable. My visit ended up three days later with me packing my staff, crying and yelling her that I was leaving her house and this time was forever. My right body view was full of resentment and remembered exactly all the details, i.e. how she would look disgusted at me plus all the things she would tell me about my body appearance. In that view I was very offended and hurt.

After practicing the left body part twice, my perceptions shifted, my mum was not in the scene anymore and all that rested was my part and what did I bring in it. I.e. I remember it was I to first feel ashamed of my body and looking at myself with disgust and not to have had the energy to deal with my mom or to communicate with her more deeply. My left body view was looking inward and free from feeling attacked. My both bodies view was again more complete and incredibly self-explanatory. I could feel her worries about me and saw she just wanted all the best for me. Then, I realized that when the right body gets out of control like in the original scene, there is no space for feeling guilty about it. All there is is to be aware that it was a right body reaction, and apologies for ones mistakes.

Just in this moment that I am writing I realize how I was bouncing from one body view to another and besides the moment we practiced the both bodies part in the magical pass I did have neither awareness or a connection between the them.

As we were going through the Stalking exercises, giving our apologies and letting go of the stones inside of me, it was more clear the sensation of the Serpent that gets wings to fly. Especially, Miles Reid introduction to the Plumed Serpent Magical Pass on Saturday night emphasizing the big belly undulation of the serpent and the growing awareness of its wings was very helpful. My body felt so much more fluid afterwards and entered completely in the mood of the pass.

Sunday morning I had the most intense sensations of all. I was still moved by the beautiful and inspiring talk that Miles gave. When he finished I followed him with my eyes going back to hug and kiss Axel with all the love and tenderness that he could. I remembered something from my early years of life. I recalled all the love my parents felt for me. It was a bodily sensation and it was sharply clear. I felt that their love and affection for me were so deep and intense that tears of sheer happiness were pouring out of my eyes as we were moving at the rhythm of the Plumed Serpent. I felt I was full and complete and I was so lucky to have parents like mine, I felt I had all I needed and with this new awareness I was free from trying to get attentions from outside people. I felt grateful and full of love for my mom, for all the gifts she always made me and for her incredible beauty. In that moment I knew that my wings were her wings, and if I was there experiencing all that beauty and harmony it was thanks to her. What a magic and mysterious being she looked to me now! Then, I even felt not only my mom presence in the room but all of that my feminine ancestors. Suddenly, all the dialog about feeling less than others or not fitting in a particular group, which I have been tracking and witnessing for a few years now, dissolved and I felt my family lineage was celebrating with us all in the room. I felt how all the decisions they took in their lives were so extremely important to get to that moment of celebration and I was so connected to all of that.

It was such a release, such a joy!

As the workshop was over and we were traveling back home, I wondered how could I remember those incredible moments and teachings we lived during the seminar. A voice told me that all the memories lie in my heart. I am bringing home so many tools I have learned there that will allow me to connect to my heart and balance my body views and that is the place where I want to connect to my mom and all the other beings around me.

On the grounds of Shambhala I realized that all these years I had not been listening to my inner feelings. It felt strange since my view was that I had been reconnecting with my feelings in the last few years. But something was lifted and I realized at I had been shutting my feelings out of my consciousness, in particular I was not acknowledging feelings of pain. This was my innermost realization that surfaced at our recent workshop. I felt that the feelings coming from my heart had been covered up all these years, seemingly every moment of my life. My heart was not the center from which I lived my life, some other part of me had taken over. I knew I had changed in my childhood, to protect myself from pain, loneliness, overwhelming feelings, the actions of people and in my desire to be accepted and loved by others. This realization was re-affirmed in every aspect of the workshop, my own stories, the stories from the speakers as well as in my interactions with others; not listening to my innermost feelings was a key feature of my life.

The life stories that came up doing the "Gazing with the Ears" pass where ones that had regularly surfaced in my consciousness throughout the years; the friends and family that I had abandoned or treated unfairly and the guilt I felt for the way I acted. I saw these stories from the right side as I had remembered them, but from the left side emerged a more encompassing view where the actions of others came into play as well as a broader scope of my own feelings and perceptions. From my center came the whole view and it seemed to explain everything. Overall what some people said or did when I was young often hurt me and the way I knew to protect myself was to deny the love I felt for others, my family and friends. Deny also that I longed for their company. So I judged them to justify my acts and give me reasons to cut them out of my life, distance myself from them to protect myself. My judgments where part of the wall enclosing my true feelings. I did not have the self-confidence I needed to be myself, to live and love openly without the fear of other people's words or judgments especially those close to me. I realized that I could not do things differently back then, I acted in the only way I knew to protect myself; trapped as I was in a child's reaction to the world. But I am not that child anymore and I can live from my heart again, breathe and experience life from there.

I had family stories like the one Jerry spoke of. Recently I had decided to stop judging one of my sisters. I abandoned the idea I had that before we could establish a new relationship we needed to have this talk where my recriminations would be heard and acknowledged. I knew that my sister did not care for these emotional journeys into the past; so when she came to see me recently I decided to ""just spend a nice day with her"". We had a great day together, like two friends, and I did the same the next time at her place. There I saw her in a new light, saw how loving she was with everyone and most of all became aware that below the superficial judgments and recriminations I had for all these years, underneath it all were my true feelings for her; intact, awaiting my acknowledgment, was the love I had always felt for her.

Every aspects of Miles' story resonated in me, evoking feelings of situations in my life that I could not remember. Doing the "Life-saver" pass from the heart, with the heart at the center of the movement, was a revelation. Walking in the street today I felt my heart becoming the center of my life.

I would like thank you for this wonderful experience at the Shambhala workshop. The place was a bubble by itself and fulfilled with lovely beings and a strong intend. I felt a big opening to all the attendants and for me it was the first time to have so much possibilities to be in contact and talk with them. In my experience the workshop began three weeks earlier. For a week I woke up every night and was listening to my voice singing songs, like mantras, about the earth and sky, the river and so on. I was fulfilled with sound and my heart has been opened. A voice in me was very clear about the power of this workshop but there was also a voice not knowing to go to the workshop ... I am so happy to decided to go… My own experience is: Every movement was strong and brought me into a deep contact with my core and my heart. I could feel the fibers in me and around me. On Sunday I felt transformed into a plumed serpent and could feel the wings, the tail and I loved to fly with the other beings in the hall. My heart was burning in good way open to all beings and I perceived the fibers from my heart to the universe and to the other beings. I was fulfilled with love. The movement gazing the ears with the witness work brought me into a deeper level of my history. And it was so easy to go there and find a resolution in myself. The circumstances of the death of my father came up and my avoidance to that topic.. The witnessing helped me to forgive myself and acknowledging the work of my sister and mother around this time. Afterwards in the night I cried as a big relief in my body system. Miles rounded my story off with his own. I was very touched.

Thank you very much, with a lot of affection.

Thank you for such a beautiful and enlightening seminar. After the seminar ended I still kept for days this joyful energy that impregnated me during the whole event and even some nasty hip pain I have been hosting for some years seemed to yield to the passes and the plumed serpent.

The apologies exercise was very powerful and uplifting and I have two stories to share.

When we did the exercise I came out with about eight apologies and then I worked the one I thought most important with my witness. My apology was to a workmate I sort of compared to a bank employee for his lack of commitment to work extra hours to complete an urgent assignment for a customer. I sent these comments to his boss requesting him replaced. I didn't know his boss would forward such e-mail to him and he got very upset and from there a nasty exchange of e-mails followed which left me drained and completely disgusted about this person. For more than one year the shadow of this event ate my energy even in my dreams.

The spirit happened to put me in front of a very special witness. As I was saying my apology to her, I realized she was a bank employee also and I felt embarrassed about saying this to her but also thought it was so funny that I had to say it three times and she was cracking up at my silly perception of her trade. The exercise was powerful and I felt a big lift afterwards. I understood I had made a mistake but also the manager had a part for his way of handling the situation. We laughed together and I felt the spirit really wanted to put me in the spot. By the way, my dad was a bank employee for 36 years and I never made the connection until now. We can say very silly insensible things when we are trapped in those ingrained self-righteous behaviors.

I now feel relieved and have learned that whenever I am feeling stressed about a deadline, I have to be very careful about my written communications, especially when I start feeling that I am becoming into the defender of somebody else and feeling self righteous. That is now part of my map and I intend to keep it in check.

The workshop actually started for me almost a week before July 31st. First, my 91-year-old mother suffered a stroke and the hospital where she was taken put her into a nursing facility for 24-hour care. She has been resisting the idea of death for a long time and I realized that I was resenting her (both for the timing -- which actually turned out to be fortuitous -- and for presenting me with something I didn’t feel at all prepared to deal with).

My sister, brother-in-law and I drove to the workshop through the Rocky Mountains. The first day was fine, but the second day, I hadn’t gone to sleep until 3 a.m. due to drinking coffee and I woke up cranky and ready to pounce on every annoyance. I began cataloging my brother-in-law’s (Jerry) humming, whistling, verbal mannerisms, saying at every mountain range: “Look at the beautiful mountains” and at every valley “There’s nothing here. It’s barren” and the squabbling between himself and my sister. After awhile I began examining this rush to judgment and quickly realized all my own traveling habits: constantly pointing things out, saying “it’s so beautiful” ad nauseam, talking about things Jerry has no interest in (Tensegrity), etc. etc. Realizing this, I decided to use this opportunity for some stalking and suggested to my sister that for that entire day, I would agree with everything she said, proposed or theorized about. At first, this was extremely difficult and I kept falling back on sarcasm -- which she called me on until I made my agreement sincere. After awhile, it got easier and I suddenly became aware that all my life, I have contradicted her (my sister), opposed her, objected to everything she suggested or counterproposed something else, from my position as the older sister. I also realized with amazement that I had been completely oblivious of this behavior (she was acutely aware of it). As it grew easier to do, I also realized that an awful lot of energy had been tied up in this behavior.

When I got to the workshop, I was already feeling that this stalking had paid off for both of us. She was realizing that she felt acutely responsible for everybody and everything, and the rest of us kind of cruised on her sense of responsibility. She was also realizing that she craved acknowledgment. Then we did the apology exercise and my first apology was to my sister for having spent my life disparaging her, contradicting her and making her doubt herself WITHOUT BEING AWARE OF IT! Which behavior stems directly from our earliest years together. I was also able to acknowledge my debt to her for many things including taking care of our senile mother for the past 12 years. My second was to my mother and the third was to Jerry.

Then there were so many reminders of death as an advisor. At the Stupa tour we all had to say out loud three times on the left side of the building: “This body is going to be a corpse.” What the Rinpoche said about how important it was to handle the death of someone close in an appropriate way really resonated with me and gave me a handle on how to relate to my mother and the experience she was having. And then, finally, Miles’ story about his patient‘s death! Could anything have been more on target? I felt as if intent was addressing me through the workshop.

The Hawaiian song released so much emotion in me too that I felt reborn afterward and very tender.

So, aloha to all of you who provided this amazing experience.

Thank you for such a great workshop. The balance between the to different lineages and at the same time we have so much in common was like the sky and the earth touching each other in the distance.

The hummingbird that showed in the last Palms Spring workshop was again flying freely over our heads reminding us how fragile and fast this life is.

The exercise of apologizing and acknowledging others in our life was clear and direct. We opened our hearts and showed our feelings

We can not play the mind’s game of trying to adjust our story to our desire; because it was not a story. Just a plain apology, but the best part was to acknowledge the other person. In my case, it was my dead father. The fist time I read it, I couldn’t feel anything, so I ask my witness if I could see his eyes when I said my apologies, That's when things changed and I saw my father in the eyes of my witness.

My father was there and I felt that he was listening the apologies that I never said when he was alive, something changed in my body and the change was not only physical: I felt that my right side was lifted and the fibers that it was twisted for years were slowly untangling. I felt clean, lighter and soft.

In Shambhala we got closer, closer to the sky and earth and to each other, like one practitioner beautifully said:

I feel like the people here are my brothers and sisters too.

We had the incredible opportunity to write our story three times from three different places and arrive to a position of balance where we could see a whole picture and the end was surprising like in a very good novel or movie. This is so exciting that I want to do it with other personal stories. Thank you.

The singing between Robert and Chiara really created a mood of light and contentment in my body. The magical pass the plum serpent with music as wonderful Thank you guys. I hope that will be included in the next CD.

The questions and answered for the beginners between sessions was a very good idea. I saw the faces of the new beginners full of curiosity and excitement every time they got together.

The act of changing the place for a seminar had an impact on the season practitioners we felt out of our comfort zone. We shared the space with others (different seminars and Shambhala staff) and we helped to clean (plates and pots) so our participation was more. We did magical passes with out shoes. We listened to different people - the morning meditations with Greg was amazing and I included it in my dairy life.

"I can focus in our difference but I prefer to focus in our similarities" one practitioner said in the last tour of awareness. This comment applied to the situation that we were guest in this new place.

Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche emanated this light…The meditation with him broke me in two. One was there feeling my body and listening to the instructions as he talked about the tiger the lion, Garuda and the dragon.

But the other part was gone in a different place interacting, moving in different colors and shapes, free from the human form. It is difficult to explain even now.

The Miles's talk...What an amazing being, he opened his chest and brought his heart out, healed it and brought it back in. I could not hold my tears. It was an inspirational act in front of the infinity and we had the honor to witness that.

I felt so related to many aspects: Yes, I do not want to be bothered. It is difficult for me to ask for help and I want to be perfect, but I can use the death as an advice and not the other ones. Like Miles said.

And now I have the choice to live in the same furrow or increased my awareness.

…I was remembering the experience of noticing the shift in awareness from one sequence to the next, and an analogy came to me that I thought might be helpful to someone else. The view from the Right Body was like having a patch over one eye. I could see, but the view was limited and lacked depth. The view from the Left Body allowed me to look out of the other eye, but that view was also incomplete. However, the result of doing the last set of passes gave me binocular vision – a rich three-dimensional view.

I am so grateful for this experience. By learning to notice these differences, I feel more able to consciously follow shifts in awareness, to notice when they occur, and to appreciate the nature of each state.

The tour of the Stupa by the architect/designer/artist was interesting in that, as he explained the parts of the temple he told us many of the tenets of Buddhism, most of which are similar to what has been explained in Tensegrity. He explained their emphasis that life is brief (he made us meditate that our body will be a corpse as we walked a quarter of the way around the outside of the Stupa), and that human beings are just a small part of the consciousness of the world, and the there is no guarantee that humans will always be here… it has been a recurring idea since the workshop that life is short, and to take the time to see the beauty in what is around as often as possible. It has been brightening up my day to do this each time.

Our host organizer Jess said it nicely when she said that the Tensegrity people already felt like a part of their group. I feel the same way about the hosts and residents living at Shambhala.

The conversation with other practitioners was different this year in that instead of focusing on ideas of Tensegrity, we were discussing how Tensegrity fit in with the other paths that are appearing around the world at this time. It was a nice cooperative expansive feeling. It’s good to share.

This Seminar has been one of the better, if not the best I have been in. I have not words to express all what I was given and learned there. But I want to do my best in order to express my awe, deep gratitude and the love.

I want to say that magical passes were absolutely marvelous. Listening with the two bodies and the stalking we do about asking for forgiveness and making an acknowledgement was so powerful! I could release a guilt feeling that, I become aware then, had had a deep power over me and had been a huge weight on my shoulders.

I would like to share the story: When I was 20 I went to see my grandparents to their home. They had brought me up and I lived with them all my childhood. My grandfather had been sick for years from a degenerative disease. When I saw him I didn’t want to be next him so long. I felt I have nothing to say and nothing to do there. I stayed there just a few days and left as soon as it was possible to me. Some of these days, he gave me a very serious and deep look. I felt he was feeling my annoyance and thinking I was ungrateful “like my father” (my grandfather used to say we are direct product of links of blood, and my father had been criticized by his distant relationship with his own family). Days after I left my grandparent’s home my grandfather committed suicide. I felt awful, I felt so sad and I thought if I and all my family had been able to express him love and care, maybe he would felt better and willing to live. I regret a lot having been unable to give him love and to do something in return of years of love and care that he had given me.

When we reviewed this story on seminar, I wanted to ask him for forgiveness. When we were doing the Magical pass for the right body I could feel my sadness and regret and cry for it. It made me aware of thinking that I would have a solitary and defenseless old age, because I would pay for what I did with my grand father. When we did the magical passes for the left body I felt very clearly that there was nothing to regret about and nothing about asking for forgiveness. I could see that at that time I was feeling very sad about his condition and when he looked at me in this serious way he was not judging at me (as I was thinking from my right side) he was saying good bye from his heart and I was saying good bye as well. My body and my soul was saying goodbye with a deep feeling of love, sadness and acceptance. We both were knowing that this would be our last encounter on this world. And both of us was sad and full of longing and love. We had a very sober, sad and loving, farewell. We speak to each other in silence about our love.

On the view of the two bodies I could feel as if he, my grandfather, were there with me in the venue of the seminar. I felt very clearly as if he was very happy about this opening of my soul and about the opportunity to make contact at this very special moment with me. I almost could see him, smiling and giving me a wink, as he used to do when he was alive. He said: “you made me so happy” “My old age was full of joy because of your presence on my life” “you replenished my days with the gift of your love and your beautiful being” “we are still together” “Part of me is still living in you” “I always knew you love me” “there is nothing, absolutely nothing to forgive” I said “thank you Gegey for all your love and all that your gave me” “You gave me beautiful dreams” “I know that you know I love you”

After that I felt as if a huge load or pressure of something very dense had released its grip over me. I had a feeling of a joy and freedom I had never felt before.

Well, I want to say that I can see now all days on Shambhala seminar were full of realizations and learning and all the lessons I had were taking place on a dreaming place. It was so beautiful to be surrounded by this magnificent nature and the deep intent of silence, love and compassion from the Buddhist tradition. One can feel Mother Earth’s love very strong there.

The meditation sessions were a discovery. I could feel very clearly that it is true: there exist a space between my being and my thinking. I could feel that thinking is something small and really inoffensive if we don’t hold on to it and get identified with it.

The lectures were exquisite. Miles made us cry with his very deep stalking work. Aerin made us learn, take profound lessons with joy, laughing with her exquisite sense of humor, and we enter silence with her beautiful, deep and harmonic way to explore and to teach the magical passes. The music was great and very inspiring. The Plumed Serpent, the totality of our being, took a high flight there. And is still flying, rising our terrestrial being, and taking wide views, from heavenly heights. Thank you so much you, all our Instructors, for the love, learning and freedom we are tasting through your impeccable work!

Regarding Gazing with the Ears, I would like to share an experience that happened Turing the trip to Shambhala. First I chose a book for the trip about a doctor investigating hearing inside the womb of our mum. And Aerin talked about that in the presentation of this series. My ears opened up! After the workshop, I was in the hotel room. I made some phone call to my son who was just coming back from watching a movie. He just had an argument with a man who was making a lot of noise during the movie. In my hotel room I could feel alone and separate. Like him. We were two solitary beings who want to communicate. Then I perceived/knew that I had to “listen” to my son, because of a previous argument we had which we couldn’t resolve . Then I could “elevate” our interaction. I listened to him for more than an hour, I knew that he would calm down if I would listen to him, because in the argument we had I didn’t want to listen to him.

I was nervous and my body was tense with the preparation of my trip and he bothered me asking me to pay him attention. I was in a bad mood and I told him to stop complaining. This time, it was the same situation, I didn’t care about the preparation of the trip because the worst had already happened: I missed my plane. The only thing that was important was to listen to my son. I realized that infinity was living me another opportunity to reconnect with him, and I did it through listening to him and give him time and full attention. We could make jokes together, I apologized to him.

I told him that he is the most important for me and I’m ready to give my life to him. I was in peace with myself and with him. Now I Could “fly” like a plumed serpent.

I have done a couple of magical passes before I started writing this email (the gathering breath and gazing with the ears).

I loved the setting of the workshop. Shambhala is one of the most beautiful places I have been in my life. I liked to hike on those mountain trails, and meditating in the Great Stupa was awesome. It was the clearest my mind has ever been.

…The witnessing process was also very powerful, with going right to the heart then starting with a magical pass. It was great and also very emotional, and when we did the right body, left body and both body's, it made these things that we were saying have different levels of emotion. I found that doing the passes in a more natural environment helped with my concentration.

Thank you

"Und solange du das nicht hast, dieses stirb und werde, bist du nur ein trüber Gast auf der dunklen Erde!"" Goethe. (And as long as you don't have this Dying and Becoming - you are just a sad guest on the dark earth.)

What did I learn at this workshop, what did I experience? To start with the last: pure bliss, after the usual confusion and despair on day/night 1. ... Pure bliss to be together with my fellow practitioners. I felt such affection and love for them. To lay on the floor, when doing the mapping, now and then feel an arm, a hand, a foot. In a break, to hear their voices, soft rumbling, laughing. And to see their shiny eyes, to make jokes with them. Also, pure bliss, being in this beautiful land, with people who commit themselves so wholeheartedly to silence, compassion and peace. Such a privilege to be there, eat their great food (distinctively less onions than last year!), be part of the system of Rota. Pure bliss thanks to the instructors, who did it again, their unbending intent, their love, their impeccable effort.

What did I learn? I learned about the left side. Although I have been practicing several years, and in the past also did the Heat Series in our practice group, I never had a clue about this left and right side thing. During this workshop, I felt it ...left: the dark, unstructured ...the unknown ... just before the workshop, going through family papers, I came across a note from my paternal grandmother with a quote from Goethe, see above. To die, to let go of all certainties, to dive into the unknown and to be reborn again, renewed structure this newness, live it and then again to let go.... the sound of the left side ... 'not a sound you hear at a cocktail party' one of the instructors said thanks, very inspiring.

I learned from the instructor who asked us all to be witness and his story of being ""perfect by denial"": it was as if I knew the story already, like I must have heard it before. The details, like the slippery steps from the place were he slept, were so familiar. This talk put me straight and sober in the mood/ drive of recapping the death of my mother and my relation with her. Many scenes were coming to me, with great clarity, just after the instructor finished his story, lasting for some time. Wrote them down, working on it now. I had put this recap of relation with my mother on my list for 2008, trusting that setting the intent was enough and that the occasion, the wave of the mood would come as I have learned from last year: no planning necessary. And so it did…. It is also so mysterious how the workshops I attended lately, are connecting. My dream (Bath) is intrinsically linked with my mother - I cannot grasp with my mind how, but I just follow… I found out at Bath but already in Barcelona workshop I got hints- and I get chunks of the life of my mother's mother and how her life events influenced my mother and influenced me and influenced those around me ...

From the practice to apologize.... I learned something very important - to acknowledge I have done things wrong, in the sense that i have contributed to the suffering of other beings. I did not want to but could at that time act no other way ... I saw that my suffering, that is the root of me causing others to suffer, is/was not something individual, that stands alone - as illustrated in paragraph above- but a sort of cloud that has come down in my family lineage, or maybe even in a bigger structure, network. (Of course, same way for talents, drives that could be labeled positive.) This might be an illustration of the Buddhist concept of emptiness, Sunyata - the "I" does not exist as a separate unit. On the other hand: shortly before this workshop I realized that in my recap I was looking for excuses for some of my actions... stuck to a childish absolute way of thinking which says: if you do something bad, then you are bad - which is unbearable, so look for excuses. In the past ... the workshop gave me a more mature approach possibility: take responsibility for my actions in the network and make up for them, if necessary.

I am very happy with this meeting of Buddhism and Tensegrity. Both traditions aim for the same, but to my feeling they also complement each other: Buddhism / the Sakyong: every human being is fundamentally enlightened, awake, compassionate…

To fly as a Plumed Serpent: ... the first flight, I was above an ocean. I saw the shiny white crest on the waves, like sparkling white crystals and a dark figure under the blue water ...oh a whale! Bliss ...Then the second time the same, but on the left, tall dark rocky forms and in the middle looking down on a group of silvery beings, dolphins, jumping through the water. Bliss. The last time I was above a totally black situation, a deep, unearthly, powdery black. Scattered across: yellow- whitish dots of light. I tried to tell myself I was looking down on a city by night but I wasn't. Fascination, awe....

I will absolutely be at Shambhala again next year!

The place of Shambhala Center was beautiful, a calm feeling of serenity and contentment. It provided the ability to slow down, becoming present in the moment. The workshop in itself was in my experience complete, with many moments of learning and experiences providing understanding. One of these moments of learning was the bodily experiences of the differences between the right body and the left body, and the combination of both. After Gazing with the Ears for the right body I felt hot, burning sensation and angry, and for the left body there was the feeling of space and openness extending to the complete left side, which was airy and infinite, and a feeling of contentment. Combining both bodies pressing the hands at the skull the brain, the left brain was cramped and annoyed, corresponding with the experiences of the right body. Letting go of the cramping at the left brain the right side opened and the annoyance disappeared. This is also one of the practical tools I take with me from this workshop, that if I feel annoyed, I can place my left hand at my left brain, which changes my body position. Another tool is that I can choose to act more from the right body or from the left body, depending on what the situation asks for. For example, on my way back in the airplane I helped a man a few times putting up and taking out his suitcase from the overhead bins. Later he asked me if he could use my telephone to make a call to outside the country. My right body reacted immediately and I said “no” with the directness and clearness of the right body, and there was no questioning or complaining of the man. Practicing the third part of Gazing with the Ears for both bodies also provided a feeling of completeness, no fear, just present and very sober. It helped me to be more in the room, together with the other beings.

Practicing stating the apology, on the right side my heart was closed, internal dialogue of that ‘I can not say it, I don’t know how to say it’. On the left side was more light, heart opens more, and dreaming new ways of interacting with my father. For both sides new words came up that I wanted to say to my father: “thank you, you are a great father.” I need to really state these words to overcome the stuck feeling in chest and open my chest. This provides a clearer view.

With the stalking exercise scenes that came up were all scenes in which I tried to put someone down, out of a need to impress, feel that I have worth. In the situation I chose for the stalking exercise I said something nasty about a classmate from school to two other boys on the street. Later it turned out that one of them was a good friend of the classmate I despised. With the right body I was angry and had a deep sadness inside, I hardly could see the two other boys. With the left body I feel the sun and see the surroundings of the situation with 360 degree view, detached, I feel forgiving towards myself and calmness, love and calmness for the moment. With both bodies I see that the situation was something that I was not happy with the way I acted, but I now can do something about it and it is of no use to anybody to keep holding on to the heavy feeling. I can take this situation with me, it is a great learning moment and I can use it as power to act with compassion towards others and myself next time in other situations.

At the end of the session of practicing passes lying down to open our chest, the music with the guitar together with the singing was beautiful, I could feel the wind around me, which felt as my energy body was moving around me, nurturing, and tranquil.

The idea of grooves from the talk of Jerry helps me to feel when I am in a groove and the need to change it. Knowing that death will come provides me the alertness and need to act NOW. One of the basic grooves I want to come out and transform is the need to ask for acknowledgement. I now can recognize it and have the possibility to come out of it. The story about his younger brother was beautiful.

The talk by Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche was closely in line with what we learned during the Tensegrity practices. I was glad that he talked about death, providing a more clear view on how we can take death as our advisor to not postpone our acts but to act now, in this moment. In general his talk provided a feeling of understanding, calming down, relief, feeling of coming back to my true self. The visualization practice was also beautiful.

The story of Miles Reid was beautiful and touching, to see the responsibility and consequences of his acts, but also how he lifted the weight by the view of the other side, that it was the time of this man. Stating his acknowledgement of the man gave me the feeling that somewhere out there the man was heard and acknowledged and in this way something was fulfilled. One of the things I also take with me of the story is that one can take situations as these providing the power to act differently next time.

Singing the Hawaiian song together, rocking on the movement of the ocean breath, my heart started to open. Timidity made me stop singing sometimes, and I needed to continue singing to keep opening my heart more and more. It was a delight to sing together and see and feel so many happy beings around me. This moment was a moment without judgement, and I had the feeling of being all connected with each other.

Before the Plumed Serpent passes, saying ‘Earth’ in different languages together it seemed that from a deep blackness the dream of the earth as a planet came into existence, including the blue sky and the earth itself. Practicing the Plumed Serpent I experienced again the different feelings of the right body and left body and moving from one to the other, from the very fast and sharpness of the right body to the round and dreamy left body. With the music I had the feeling that the man singing in the song called us to ancient times in Mexico.

Many other great moments:

- One of the greatest delights of the workshop was talking to other practitioners during the meals and other moments, for example sharing dreams we have.

- The meditation in the morning with Greg Smith was a good, sober and refreshing way to start the day. I liked the contemplative meditation, as the words of the different animals generated bodily feelings with intent we can call upon during our interactions.

- The tour around and in the Stupa provided by the care taker was also nice, with moments of learning, including the laughing practice.

Thank you to the Shambhala mountain Center and the people working/living there for your open, warm and friendly welcome. Also thank you to the practitioners, Instructors and to Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche for making this beautiful event happening, and for helping us to come back to the affectionate beings we are.

The workshop at Shambhala Mountain Center was a momentous event! Last October I participated also at the workshop in SMC, and at that time there was an air of first making careful acquaintances, which brought it such beautiful sense of curiosity and wonder about the ‘other’ and his tradition. We had some wonderful conversations then with practitioners from both Buddhism and Tensegrity, sharing our different approaches to this path with and into the heart.

And now we were back again, and it was even more wonderful – in that we could explore further and deeper what we share and experience.

I felt this very much in the talk of Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche. He dove right into the subjects without beating around the bush. I felt this in both the concrete words and in the sense of presence and concentration that emanated from him. What appeals strongly to me is the emphasis on acting, active meditation, active in the sense of bringing meditation into daily acts, but also in committing to our daily world – not just practicing in this blissful state but bringing it into experience.

I do also feel this need to see my death as my advisor in order to see what to do, and how to appreciate what I have or what I received.

Miles’ talk in which he shared with us one of the ghosts on his tail – and especially how this ghost turned into his teacher, affected me also quite strongly.

When I started out on this path I believed part of it was about cancelling out the past – in such a way that it would be gone, or forgotten – and I did not see that this was a narrow view in which a large part is overlooked. That part is that the past will not leave us but can spur us on to find who we truly are. And that by looking into our past with awareness we can transform the past into an ally. This path is not about getting rid of commitments or responsibility, but about acknowledging them and taking on the responsibility for being here and acting.

Being in this magnificent place close to nature, where inner silence is practiced by so many enhanced the workshop and the passes and exercises we did. We do so many of our practice close to our daily life in the city, and with good reason; to bring it into daily life. And so being somewhat away from daily life in such beautiful surroundings was a treat. In many of the books that the Nagual wrote the events take place in the dessert away from daily life – so perhaps there are some of the practices that we do that may benefit from taking place in such surroundings. I would surely come back if there is another workshop – and wouldn’t it be something if we could have it a weeklong next time..?

In the apology stalking I did not encounter a great release. I feel I am holding on to at least part of the experience I stalked and ‘my’ view of it. But I did find a field of exploration that I can now look into. I lost some of the contact with a friend a couple of years ago and although I had some mixed feelings I did not see how to approach this in stalking except for how it affected myself. Seeing the apology and lifting the stones from my heart-perspective helped me see how I can stalk my actions, and myself and how they affect others, in more depth. And I also see how the past does not have to end after that stalking, but how it can transform into something that has a place also in the present. Great!

So thank you all very much for this event and for your words, for the passes and for the time and place we spent together – I enjoyed it thoroughly!

The whole Workshop was amazing with a sensation of lightness and beauty.

During the meeting with Rinpoche I felt that something very powerful was happening beyond what was said, something I could not describe. After the meeting I had a very intense feeling in my womb, it was almost painful. I felt that there is something new in my body that I did not have before and there is no way back. Something has been changed. I think that we have established a connection at a very deep level, or I felt energy of this ancient and very powerful tradition.

On Friday evening when we were laying down on our mats and 3 practitioners were playing music (I did not know that it was an improvisation!) I felt an opening in the middle of my chest. It was like I saw a path in front of me. That path was also a feeling, a mixture of joy, lightness, warmth and fluidity, it has a special flavor to it that I never felt before. And then I realized that this feeling was me, I felt myself. And I knew that I am just a feeling. It was a beautiful sensation and I am intending to experience it again.

On Saturday night after the practice I decided to go to Stupa for the last time. I wanted to sit there in silence, to see the stars again and may be to have a chance to listen again to Scottish music people were playing using bagpipes in the camp behind the Stupa. I looked at the sky – there were clouds and no stars –oh, too bad, but I decided to go anyway. After some time in silence I came out and the sky was clear with a myriad of stars. All these days in the mountains the time spent looking at stars or seating in silence was never enough. My body wanted more silence, more stars, more and more and more. I was taking in the starlight. Just a minute later I heard a record of a Scottish song that somebody put on in the camp, just one song as a farewell. Under the starlight I saw a deer in the meadow on my left. Two stars fell down and I made a wish. I was in the middle of beauty and mystery. It was one of the most magical moments in my life.

I love and thank endlessly everybody who organized and who was guiding this magical journey. Thanks Buddha and Plumed Serpent for their unbending presence. Thanks to the Stars and Sun, now I know you closer. I want to keep thanking and thanking. Aerin for how she hugged Miles when he finished his story. Chiara and Robert for their sweet song about the dream that I am still humming. And the Silence and Buddha are still with me. My body moves like a Plumed Serpent, when I walk I feel how the air is moving inside my chest through the spaces between my ribs. The vibration of the exhalation creates a soft resonance at the area of my nose and relaxes my throat. I asked for forgiveness during the workshop and now I do it every time when I notice that I start judging someone, especially another woman. It brings me so much joy and relief. Instead of looking for flaws and comparisons I enjoy advantages and thank Infinity for the possibility of perceiving the world in all its multi-facetedness.