Here is some of the feedback we received from participants of the recent workshop in Anaheim 2004,
The Two-Way Bridge: Dreaming and Stalking

Dear Instructors,

Thank you very much for introducing the magical passes of the wind and for awaking in me the spirit of the wind. I love to sense the wind flowing in and out of my body. It makes me feel rounded and complete. This sensation makes me aware of my energy body. My energy body is like the wind, I can't see it but I can strongly feel its presence and its effect. During the workshop I could experience how it feels to act from my complete body and from listening the wind/energy body, instead of from my head. It is like if I had not doubts. I was able to do the magical passes without worrying it or without trying to grasp them, they just flow as a soft wind and my body was able to follow that flow. The same happens with other tasks that I had to perform.

Practicing the different directions of the wind, made me aware that also each person has their own predilections and ways of doing things. I was very happy to discover some of my predilections and to hone those predilections without judgments. Also helped me to understand and respect others and not try to change them.

I like very much that you addressed the use of words. How words can construct walls or open doors. I really need to learn how to use words and how to communicate so this workshop was very important for me. During the witness exercise I found out how using different words can change totally the development of certain events. The phrase that I was working with, was a phrase that a friend of mine said to me one day when he was not very cooperative to provide some information that I needed.

He said to me: "You need to be more precise and specific next time you ask for something." When I heard that phrase, I felt waves of range in my stomach, my chest paralyzed, my shoulders were pulled forward, my chin was pulled inwards, my back was tense, I did not feel my feet and my head was about to explode. My inner dialogue: "How does he dare to say that. I called him at least 5 times in a period of half an hour to ask him for that information. I told him in every possible way that I needed that information to finish a very important project. He was very rude and now he is blaming me.

During the first exercise, it was obvious that this person was very rude and that he was only blaming me. But for my surprise at the end of the third exercise and thanks to my witness's questions I found out that:
First of all I had other resources to find that information and that I did not need to call him many times. I also found out a very important information: He had asked me not to call to his cell phone because he did not have more included time and instead to call him to his house. In my paranoia I kept calling him to his cell phone, each call cost him money. And third that he was right. I was not specific. I called him many times but I did not explain clearly what I really wanted. Because I had not done my own research by myself before, I did not know exactly what data I needed to finish the project. Later I talked to my friend who had said that phrase and I told him that he was right and that next time I would try to be more specific and to ask exactly what I need. Use the words wisely.

I also noticed that it is a habit to go into paranoia when I need some information and instead of looking for it, I call this friend to ask him the information I need. My new action is to find out most of the information using the resources that I have instead of bothering my friends with my questions.

I also experienced how the use of words can avoid waste of energy. I said "no" to a person in a situation that was not comfortable for me. I felt proud of me when I said "no" because I avoided something that I did not like and the other person was able to understand. In normal circumstances I would have said yes and then feel angry and upset with that person for the rest of the day.

I learned a lot with Miles' story on how we beg for recognition and how our self pity does not let us to enjoy the things that surround us and see the mystery in our lives. I felt that I was traveling with him and Taisha and that we all were transported into the second attention when he described the magical passes of the west wind.

I love very much Aerin's story. It showed me how we can stalk all little details of our dialogue and actions. How some times we need to write several drafts and do the witness exercise many times to find out our habits and reactions. With her example I was able to see how we can dream certain events differently and how when we are silent we can listen to the wind. I also found very useful what she said what Florinda told her. That to learn to communicate or use the words properly we need to practice and practice. Then when Aerin said the last phrase I was very moved; "Florinda told: Aerin, you need to thank yourself for what you have done.

Thank you to all the instructors and thank you Aerin, thank you Florinda, thank you Taisha and thank you… Self.

I looked forward to the workshop for some weeks beforehand as a most welcome pause. My business life has been almost literally nonstop and every waking hour since the beginning of the year, and also for some months before a year end vacation. Workshop weekend was not a particularly good time to get away. In fact, I worked for almost the entire transit time from airport arrival to landing (roughly twelve hours), and also on the trip home.

I was distracted with work thoughts during the first morning session, as I am often on Saturday mornings. When we put all the pieces of the northwind pass together, I snapped completely out of that mind set and was entirely present for the rest of the workshop. A transition that quick and complete is rare for me lately. I have a deep affinity for the north wind.

I have a less personal affinity for the east wind, and have a bit more difficulty recalling it. Yet, it gives me the most palpable physical sensation during its practice. My hands are very alive as they feel the lower disc area, and during the other moments in the form when they move together or face each other -- as if they are indeed touching something tangible, something hidden by air.

I found the stalking exercise as it unfolded through the workshop extremely valuable. The key for me was the repeated return to the same event, with the same witness. This enabled me to fully unpack the recent incident that "had my wind stuck," and develop a clear plan for dealing with that kind of situation in the future.

Very early the morning after the workshop, I had something of a revelation. I have never been comfortable with the proposition that self pity is behind most of the dysfunction in my life (seeing the causes of those issues to be perhaps as variable as the issues themselves). Yet, that morning, I saw clearly that self-pity is the boulder in the middle of the two-way bridge. Self pity keeps me bottled up inside myself, causes me to conceive my destiny as entirely depending on external circumstances. It even prevents clear perception of those circumstances, the world around me. It is impossible to do anything but react from self-pity; genuine response is inconsistent with that condition. Indeed, I experienced the notion that one cannot actually live in a state of self-pity. And if one is not living, it is impossible to be fully aware that we are beings who someday will die.

I'm looking for a tin cup for my office! And I've named the person who occasionally makes groaning, creaking noises come out of my mouth "the old man." A venerable, respectable person, but one who should become more accepting, flexible, young.

Saturday night's theater of infinity resonated powerfully with me. I will carry the images and stories of that event as an allegory of coming to terms with the external and internal forces that effect my life, which are in the final analysis all one.

Dear Instructors,

Holy tsunami! My "ears" are still thrumming from this weekend. Santa Anna's still have a foothold here giving the tone of this last workshop an exquisite sustain. It is difficult to describe how the direction of this seminar has pulled things together, loose ends thrashing about which are being tethered down even at this moment. Since childhood I have been haunted by scores of dreams about tornados: big monstrosities as wide as a city down to tall thin ones as focused as a flag pole (that dream, I remember, held three or four skinny twisters searching for me along a fairway on a golf course.....I yelped in terror as one actually brushed against my arm while I was hiding in a sand trap!) In these dreams, I was always fleeing for my life, whether diving down deep into a lake as the winds churned the water above me or trying to outrun them in a car.

The dreams followed me into adulthood, even into these last few years in which I've been practicing this path to freedom. The last one was the most auspicious....it occurred several months ago. In it, I was caught in the observation deck of a tall tower similar to the CN tower in Toronto, Canada. I watched in horror with several onlookers as a giant tornado began to form only miles away on what was previously a bright, sunny day. The thing gathered momentum, pulling the small wispy cirrus clouds from across the sky into its purpose. And then it headed straight for us. At first, we all watched in awe, but soon gave over to naked fear as it bore down with everyone screaming and running around.

There was no way out.......I was finally caught. In the instant before this monster hit the tower, I felt a snap and then a surge of energy....I became aware of my dreaming body! My terror turned to exhilaration as the winds began to whip the top of the tower around like a willow sapling. I had found a place to sit and hold on and then let out a bellow of glee, "YEEEE-HAAAWWW!" The dream ended as the tower snapped like a twig and came crashing down. I simple squatted and rode the thing down in an exquisite state of calm. Just as the tower came crashing down, I found a door and quickly and calmly darted through at just the right moment.....walking away unscathed!

Looking back, I was a little saddened that our wind got stuck when Nyei asked us to "sound off" in our respective groups at the workshop. I, like many others, managed a measly "eep!" with my fibers all bound up in self reflection. We want to let go, to abandon ourselves. We need to keep awareness of our death at hand for this abandonment.....a relaxed, sober confidence unafraid of acts of largess. All rigid structures are dismantled and scattered in the tornado. It's already upon us. The only option is to let go and move to the center where the intent of the winds can transport us....who knows where?

I'll leave you with this poem. It's pieces were not all in place, prior to the workshop. Everything pulled together with the focused twirl of this weekend, just like the actors in the theater of infinity, drawing tight to the center.

Lover's Leap

What began as a series of thoughts
twinged by a distant ache,
Has conspired to invade me entirely.

Now, I'm a goner.

Water rushes through my bones.
Images of a signal fire
driven mad by a capricious wind
ripping with purpose through
those glowing silhouettes...
the Shoulders of the Earth.

And my delight, small yet fierce, the Aboriginal
squatting and tossing embers
into he night sky.

All this is suspended behind
a barely suppressed grin.

with affection,

When the seminar was finished and I turned around to see the stage, no one was there anymore and I immediately went to my worry-look mode, my body felt full and I knew once again there was information in it that I wasn't even aware of yet. (This is my second seminar and I found myself being more relaxed than the first one, I was excited and happy to be there.)

I took a walk outside by myself and felt sad all of sudden, new fresh things were coming up in my life and I could feel something had shifted, I thought I should be delighted, old layers will be coming apart but the unknowable, what is underneath this crust, beyond these walls that were build a long time ago? I remembered to breath and came to the coffee shop inside the Marriott where all of sudden many practitioners were waiting in line. I felt very present, very solid, in a non-reaction mode, many were together, in pairs and groups of three, I got my cake and coffee and sat down by myself (I think I hear the tin can change jiggling...). To my left were two women practitioners, who were laughing so hard, their faces were red and tears rolled down their cheeks, it was absolutely contagious for me, I took my things and joined them and it didn't matter what they were laughing about, the laugh itself was beautiful. We started walking back for the questions and answers hour and one of the women and I began a speaker witness moment, she repeatedly reminded herself to be a witness and not give me advise, I voice out my sentence of what I needed to say when faced with the situation we were talking about. She gave her email and decided to follow up on the issue of conflict.

I slept really well this first night, I even recall part of a dream I had, there was a huge swimming pool and I was swimming with other people, I went to the bottom of the pool and began finding many pieces of jewelry, I got them and came out and gave to the person in the booth. That's all I remember but the sensation of not being concern whether I need air or not was delightful, I just keep swimming being able to breath in the water.

This following morning LA is glowing, the sun is out, everything seems crisp, sharp sounds, besides the green leaves on the trees I noticed that there is a portion of its leaves that have a silver shine to them, the buildings, cars and cement don't seem as intrusive because I feel the presence of the palm trees surpassing. My body feel like its taking a front, I am particularly responsive today and acknowledging those around me, which generally I find myself in a shy place of "I am not good enough" but instead I feel like I am facing the world around me and meeting them in the eye.

Now it's Tuesday night and slowly coming back to the daily responsibilities of work and school, my body feels a bit of anxiety but I am remember most of all to take deep long breath and that slows me down. This morning I was dreaming that several of us were practicing the pass of the wind of the east, one of the practitioner came and sat down next to me with her guitar ready to sing a song.

thank you for the seminar and for being there.

LA Practitioner

Dear Instructors:

Since I started practicing tensegrity, I enjoy being alive. This means I enjoy getting and using all the new information I get from you.

From this workshop I've learned not to get mad at myself for having brought out my tin cup. Now when I hear the "cla-ching" of knowledge dropping in, I can laugh with the sound. I hear the joy and feel the energy of the adventure I'm having with my new view.

Next time I get a smile, I can take it.

I've started tracking. I've got a witness. As a cohort said, "Hold on to your hat. It keeps getting better."

The Sun high in the Sky
softens the Body
laying on the Earth.

The Wind brings everywhere
a Clearwaters' Dream.

_____________________________

El Sol alto en el Cielo
suaviza este Cerpo
que descansa en la Tierra.

El Viento trae dondequiera
Esueno de frescas Auas.

____________________________

original language:

SEZIONE AUREA

Il Sole alto nel Cielo
ammorbidisce il Corpo
che evolve sulla Terra.

Il Vento porta ovunque
un Sogno di fresche Acque.

I'm visiting my Mom in San Diego after the workshop, tracking my energy, I thought. It got to feel like a mini triathalon here, so much personal history. And I was workin' it, workin' it. I started feeling heavier and heavier. Today I woke up and my first thought was- it's not her fault or my fault. It's bigger than us. This felt so freeing. I felt a lightness in my chest, my back, my whole body. Then the thought came - maybe this is OK, the place I'm in right now (not my best energy or spirits to say the least ) Maybe this is just a place I'm passing through...and I felt lighter yet...more open to my surroundings, the people, myself. What a relief to take off that heavy lifting gear! The words are road signs. I had to find my own way. Thank you West wind , thank you all coaches , thank you all travelers . You ARE the wind in my sails...

I have been going to the workshops for several years now, and each has been euphoric. So was this one at Anaheim, but the euphoria seems more cohesive and solid now.

The first day of the workshop, in the morning, I went to have breakfast in the cafeteria of the hotel. It was quiet early and the air was cold outside. We had to wait a long time for our order to be ready. The day before I had driven to Anaheim at night and I had just eaten a little sandwich. I was very hungry and impatient to be served. My back was curved and my shoulders were up. I was starting to complain and I was holding my breath. At one point I turned my head toward the counter to look if the waitress was coming and, suddenly, I felt a pain in my neck. It was such a long time I had been counting the days before this seminar and, now that it was about to start, I had a pain in the neck. I was angry at myself and, as I was focusing my attention on my tiredness and the difficulties I had to do the movements, it was becoming worse and worse. During the first morning of the workshop I was doing the translation and I also started to feel a cold air coming from the doors in my back. I started to feel I had some fever and I couldn't believe I had waited for so long for this workshop and I was in such a bad condition. For what I could remember for 5 or 6 years that I am attending Tensegrity workshops it was the first time that this was happening to me. Me, me, me… (Or now I could say: gling, gling, gling… the sound of the pennies in the tin cup.)

In the afternoon I was still in this state of contraction. My shoulders were tense, I couldn't turn my head fully, the right side of my back was hurting, I was feeling cold and tired. Then we started the witness exercise. I had already selected carefully my witness: a friend that was sitting next to me, but at the last moment a person that was speaking his language and hadn't find any witness came to him. So my friend apologized and went with this other person. I turned my head as much as I could on the other side and there was a man there that was looking as if he didn't really wanted to do the exercise. He was alone and wasn't showing any intention to ask someone else to witness him. I asked him if he wanted to be my witness. At that moment the exercise was just starting. He said yes, but he told me that he was very new here; it was his very first seminar, and also that his problem with this exercise was that nothing was affecting him anymore in his daily life, and that he hadn't any examples of bad interaction with people except some very ancient ones. So I said that I was first going to tell him my own story. I told him about a story that happened at my work with my boss the day before and after I told him this story he said: "Actually now I remember something that happened at my work yesterday." Then he stayed thinking for a little while and added: "Actually this thing happens to me everyday." I couldn't help laughing and suddenly I was not feeling cold anymore. He told me the story about someone at his work that was always telling him to redo things. "But, he said, the problem I have with the next step of this exercise is that I am not physically affected by this story. My body doesn't take any different position." So I asked him what are his thoughts when this is happening. He replied: "I think: Oh my gosh! Again…" And at the same time he was saying these words his shoulders and his chest were dropping, his back was becoming curved, his eyes were staring at the floor, as if he was going to metamorphose in a kind of liquid substance. I laughed of excitation. "You see, I said, your body is totally changed." "Oh, it's true, said he." At that point I was almost not feeling anymore my pain in the neck. My whole body was feeling a strange joy, the joy of interacting with another being, the joy of seeing the energy moving, of realizing the effect of this exercise we were doing. Thanks to this man I was connecting myself to this workshop. Probably I had done of this event something too much personal; really I needed the two-way bridge. The exercise was ending as he was saying: You know I would like to have a new view but really I don't see any way to change this situation because this person I talked to you about will never change his behavior, whatever I will say or do. It was just time to start with the west wind. I was exulting. This encounter had just swept away my internal dialogue and the pain that was accompanying it. I was happy to have met this person and I was feeling grateful to him. The west wind brought me somewhere else. When I was opening the crack before my eyes, I was feeling my fingertips were opening something in the air, and when we stayed in silence I forgot where I was. I opened my eyes. I was in the middle of the workshop. The instant before I had completely forgotten about the other people, the shape of the room, the colors, my sitting position…

Then came the second part of the stalking exercise. I met my witness again. That time I was amazed. He started to talk to me. He said this situation at his work couldn't stay like that, he had to try to do something, he had to find what he could answer differently the next time. Something in him had shifted. He had opened himself. It was as if the words of Reni and Aerin had come inside him. He was now inhabited by something new. The energy had gone through him. We looked together for a new view.

When we reviewed the passes for the North and the West winds I suddenly felt that I loved the twilight. Suddenly I was feeling extremely well. My body was full of energy. My gestures were precise; my movements were connected with the other's movements. I was feeling a rhythm inside myself. My movements were following the flux of energy and there was no way for any mistake, doubt or hesitation…

At night we did the South wind. I felt a huge affection for all the beings that were surrounding me. I realized that my way of interacting with them had changed. My voice and my gestures were full of care. I had affection until the tip of my fingers. Ten, at one point I started to see words in front of me. It was like if something had been opened. I was seeing words moving in the space. It was all the words that had been said during the presentation of the stalking exercise and during the lectures. All these words were suddenly making sense and not at an intellectual level. Actually they were not only words, they were more like fragments of energy. There was some thickness and some colors associated with them, some green and amber colors. Among these words there was one that was more present than the others. It was the word responsibility. More than a mere word it was a key element of what I was seeing. Something was telling me that assuming responsibilities for his acts was a way to make our ordinary life a dream.

Something was telling me that the ordinary life was such because we didn't take responsibilities for our actions and that if we were doing so it will transform and gain more substance. I later linked that with what Lorenzo said about those elements like the ocean or the wind, which became only words for us, with which we had lost our direct link, which we don't understand anymore. When we were doing the south wind I had the feeling that such was our life, empty of any substance, lost in the flux of our habits, always escaping our own hands… It was very potent to see that because I almost couldn't wait to be again at work, in my daily life, to try to use this magical tool, the power of taking responsibility. At that moment I was seeing very clearly how my every day life could be transformed into a dream and that there was no point in wanting to "dream" when the dream was already all around us.

The day after my pain in the neck was completely gone.
This day we practiced the different winds the ones after the others. I liked them all, especially the East, the West and the south, but at the moment we did the West wind the time slow down and I suddenly felt total harmony with it. I had the feeling that it was a rhythm that was matching 100% my inner rhythm. I had the feeling it was the rhythm with which I personally like to practice all the magical passes.

The last time we did the stalking exercise I realized that what was automatically making me change the tone of my voice when repeating the conversation I had had with my boss was to take a breath before opening my mouth to answer him. If I was taking this breath my voice was immediately quieter, more grounded. I couldn't feel anymore this electric current coming to my head and making me say things I didn't want to, or using a tone I didn't want to either…

Then Aerin counted her story. I was amazed by the oscillation we were doing between moments of pure magic and the everyday life. At the moment she sang the song something disconnected inside myself. I didn't realized it at the very moment and I probably won't have been aware of it at all if I was not doing the translation. Suddenly I remembered of the translation and what I couldn't remember was at what point I had stopped translating.

With all my gratitude

Some times, for an instant, the gods go down to the freeway.
Yesterday at dusk, while it was raining immensely in L.A. and the cars were crouching against each other, rubbing their windshields with their rubbery antennae, the sky broke open.
The sky broke open and for an enormous instant there appeared, like a bridge from sky to earth, two magnificent rainbows, gliding on the edge of the afternoon. The clouds were so intensely colored they could make those calendars with made-up sunsets turn pale at Molly's grocery store.

Going southwest
The freeway moves slowly, like a mercury river with shiny, suffocated metal fishes. They slide against each other in a sensual but impersonal dance.
Time seems to elapse in the same way, elastically.
I realize, astonished, that I don't know where I am. Or better said, I know where I am, but I am not certain where all that surrounds me is.
I look down to the map while I try to find a clue in the phosphorescent green signs on the freeway. I am looking for the number 5.
A number, that abstraction is what separates me from an uncertain
desolation.
The traffic becomes a blue jelly and suddenly, over the edge of this strange river there appears, in an orange way, the intense moon.
It slides almost sweetly trough the sky.
The map offers a scant consolation: I am on a red line, close to another red line, in a yellow field filled with ciphers and unknown names.
This night, the only certainty is the moon.

The seminar has ended.
I feel the silence like an almost physical pressure. I don't know if it's joy, sadness or a blue color that surrounds me.
I go out to the high balcony of the convention center.
Flock after flock, the seagulls fly westwards, in an inexplicable,
evanescent geometry.
The sky is dyed with subtle, light, high clouds. To one side, like an echo of a farewell, a small rainbow shimmers slightly.
The wings of the seagulls move rhythmically, as if breathing.
They and we share a secret: in our hearts, a compass rose.

Findings

With my witness we discovered some interesting things.
Among them, we found that besides the known, the unknown and the unknowable,
we have "what you think you know". This immense region encompasses large portions of internal dialog that inexplicably reassure facts that were never proved or, blatantly, never existed.
In fact, when I went back to my own "infamous e-mail" I discovered, in awe, that wasn't at all as insulting or derogative as I first "perceived". So, our internal world is full of this "what we think we know", which barely seems to correspond to any objective reality. Interesting.
--------------------------------------------------
In the freeway, guess what, stuck.
Something comes, and in a second, without knowing what I was doing, I
release the fibers of my mid section, sensing around my car and even the part of the freeway where the cars are going the opposite direction. Barely some internal dialog, I quickly and swiftly find my way. 10 minutes later, I am congratulating myself for being so smart, when, of course, I get stuck again. From there two ways are clear: starting the "I am a stupid, I knew I had to keep silent, I am an Idiot, I always do the same,
I always screw it", or: just go back to silence. The freeway opened up.

another finding with the witness:
Part of the sensation of being "annoyed" with other people roots in something like "please, don't bother me, I don't have the time/interest/etc to deal with you/the issue." My witness said that if she just can pay 100% attention, the internal dialog disappears (because all the energy is placed outside) and she is able to listen /to quickly find a response.

Dear Cleargreen,

Thank you for the extraordinary workshop.

As I drove home from the first day of the workshop I was tired, overwhelmed and angry, and something in me was threatened. I began to seriously think about quitting, not only the workshop but Tensegrity altogether (including the throwing away of all books and tapes). By the time I got home it was all but decided. I lay there in bed exhausted and unable to sleep, my mind was really going, I was in a veritable tizzy. Then a calm, clear voice spoke to me. It came from within, from the area of my chest and it said: "You don't have to make the decision right now. Don't quit. Go to the workshop tomorrow and see what happens, you can quit next week if you like. Just relax now and go to sleep." This voice was so sure and convincing and soothing, I took its advice and fell asleep.

I woke up Sunday morning in a terrific mood, and my body felt good and light. I sang in the shower and I was full of joy as I drove in for day two; I not only noticed the wind, I was talking to it. I had to stop and laugh at myself and ask, "Are you the same man who drove home last night?"
The second day of the workshop was a beautiful experience. I stayed for the Question and answer session that followed. I noticed that the same thing that I did at the UCLA workshop last summer. We in the English speaking group were very serious and once again ended up discussing how to control our children. Meanwhile, over in the far left corner, the Italian and Spanish speaking group were laughing their heads off every other minute; loud, fun laughter. I heard one soft, restrained burst of muffled laughter come from the German group which quickly subside. I think the exact same thing happened at UCLA.

During the Q&A session a young woman told us all of a near death experience that she'd had on an airplane. It had caused her assemblage point to move and she temporarily saw the world as magical.
She said, "The world was magical." As I drove home from the workshop I realized that the world is magical and we had just been given the tools to build a bridge and cross over into that world.

1. Do the new passes that we just learned.
2. Do the Stalking Exploration exercise.
3. Make use of what was shared in the stories and lectures.
4. Acknowledge the wind; make yourself available to it and ask it to inform you.
5. And, finally, think about this: if the apprentices were once just like
us, doesn't that mean we can become just like them? As I drove I kept telling the young woman all this. Alone in my car, I addressed her and the whole crowd, and they broke into applause when I finished. The apprentices on stage nodded their approval. The applause was so loud that it even caused the Spanish/Italian group to stop laughing for a minute and look over to see what was happening.

Ah! From quitter to know-it-all in less than 20-hours. I caught myself and suggested that it might be a good idea to follow my own advice. I did. A few days after the workshop I made myself available to the wind and asked it a question. I got a very clear answer.
Later that day I was walking in the wind and I realized that I was not the same man who drove home on Saturday night. I was changing and so was the world.

Dear instructors,

Thank you for sharing your knowledge and giving us yet another set of beautiful passes. Although I was not present on seminar, four practitioners who have, shared wind passes with a group of us in England yesterday on a one day intensive practice day.
I have really enjoyed learning them and being in group of such a great group of people. Let's hope we will take this aboard and we will build our bridges between ourselves in order to bring instructors to England.

As I was learning passes my body felt:

Delightful, gracious, elegant and playful East wind have given me a such excitement and joy that at one point as we were doing it I felt my body flowing as a wind.

Strong, masculine and vigorous North wind have given me a strength and woke me up straight away.

Meditative, contemplative, West wind have taken me to an inner silence, and as we were sitting half way through doing the pass at the point where we close our eyes, it took me to the dream straight away and I had this pictures of beautiful butterfly and several colorful lizards in front of me. At the end of executing West wind inner silence took over. Stillness.....

South wind was playful and gentle and I felt like a child.

These are the reasons why I do tensegrity, it takes me to places where my body flows, inner silence takes over and it is a dream time, DELIGHTFUL


With compassion

I felt that I can adopt the moods of the wind and bring them to my daily life. When I wake up I take the lightness and happiness of the east and I combine it with the strong decision of the north. When I arrived home after a long working day, I get rid of those sticking things of the day with the silence wind of the west and before going to bed I call the wind of the south to help me to have a deep and nurturing sleep. This practice has helped me to sustain the mood of the workshop, I still feel that I am in Anaheim. This week I have felt that the old costume is hanging on the closet.

Thousand thanks

Dear Cleargreen,

During the Q and A period, a question was posed about finding time to do magical passes. About children and interruptions and about how to find the time to do what was needed. I had a vague feeling about the matter, but could not formulate into any thought. This question was asked again by a different person, and again the point of the question eluded me.

This was very unusual state for me. Normally, I am able to understand the questions posed and have an idea about the correct answer. After pondering on this for several days, I decided to keep a diary of my how I spend my day.

In the first column I wrote the beginning time, second the ending time and third was the difference. The last column was for what was I doing during this time. After several days, I was shocked to realize that I was wasting on the average between three to five hours on feeling sorry for my self.

This was done by having so called "breaks" because I had worked hard or because it was time for one. These breaks would take between 15 minutes to one or two hours. I would watch TV, or do cleaning that was unnecessary, or would surf the net without any purpose.

This was a revelation to me. Up until now, I considered myself to be a paragon of efficiency. I prided myself on being able to accomplish the goals that I have set up in a timely manner. Imagine my dismay, when I realized that the things that I have considered important were another way of feeling sorry for me.

I remember Erin's' presentation on how she loved feeling miserable. I saw myself being in love with my misery. I remembered Miles, and the story of his tin cup. Self inflicted pity and misery has been sucking up all of my time. They were leaches that have attached themselves to me. And like all good leaches, they gave me a narcotic (that of self-pity) to numb and to hide this simple fact.

I came to this realization on February 13, 2004. This is then my new birthday. From this day on, when self pity or any other feelings that are disguised as this insidious emotion strike, I will get up and do the East winds magical pass.

Dear Cleargreen (kind of an awkward greeting, no?),

Thank you for the excellent workshop.

On Monday, the day after the workshop, I went out to work in my yard. The first thing I noticed was an East wind. This was very interesting as Holly and I had done the East Wind passes in the morning, and probably 99% of the winds that blow here are West winds. I was so amazed that I did the East wind series again. The wind felt playful and happy.

By the time I was finishing my yard work the wind had gotten much stronger. I was trying to sweep leaves, but they kept getting blown around in circles. Perhaps the wind was trying to be playful, I thought. However, as I looked up the wind nudged the gate open. I thought I had closed it, but apparently the wind was letting me know I had not. I said thanks for pointing it out, and closed the gate properly.

When I told Holly about it later, she was amazed, but not in the way I expected. She said, "You mean the wind opened a gate for you and you didn't go through it!" How incredible to communicate with the wind, and even more incredible that it didn't even occur to me to walk through the gate!

Sincerely,

Since I wrote in, I keep also seeing Miles smiling and rattling the tin cup and know how powerful for D. to finally see self-pity for himself. Recognizing self-pity can be transformative.

The whole of the theatre of Infinity unwinds and blows through my vision too. We each find our way to move with what comes our way, to express it, to keep evolving.

I hear C. say, "You should have seen the look on your face when Nyei said ... J., do you have anything to say?" It was 1999 that I said that about fear being a guide to me - that whole moment blows me away so much I can't even say anything. Words can't explain how that all unfolded. The Q&A was a Tensegrity structure that shifted when the man voiced thanks for 10 years of being a practitioner from the moment his assemblage point moved. It was as if we all woke up to our gratitude and the energy of the gratitude moved the assembled structure.

My mother says, "I hate the wind." For all my life I've said the same words and the sounds of the wind chill me. After a life of me saying this to the wind and it blew me apart with a gift. Thank you for finally Introducing me to the Winds. Now I send it my love and friendship. IT has already left behind the past and my old attitudes. Now it works on me to do the same - to reach for Freedom.

Love,

Dear Instructors
I can already say that the diverse wind passes had an effect on the group. In the practice women we made the west wind and had to do the east wind after because nobody could easily speak after doing it twice (above all the new comers and I who were like if we received something in the head)
In the mixed practice, we teach the east wind (everybody was silent and fluid and happy) and then we began the north wind. After a while, people began to speak in every corner. to say in a high tone: "NO, you are not right" when we did mistake, to stop and not follow anymore what the other do to recapitulate what was already done.. it was really funny. The people minds were hotter and dominant.
Warmth greeting and thank you again for the beautiful seminar!



Dear Magical Beings of Cleargreen,

Thank you so much for this wonderful magical event and these powerful and mysterious passes. From the Munich tensegrity group were Ulrich and I at the workshop in Anaheim.

We had last Sunday a practice event in Munich. There were also friends from Stuttgart and Linz in Austria as guest with us. It was a powerful, magical and energetic experience beyond words. The winds guided us in different moods and qualities of our whole being. All of us were deeply affected.



Subject: Building a Two-Way Bridge
Dear Dream Stalkers,

My mother has recently been going through her second divorce, and it has been emotionally difficult for her. She has resorted to drinking a lot of tequila, and her usual warm stability has been replaced by hostility and chaos.

For many years I have lived far away from my family, and I see them only once or twice a year. Upon returning home for a visit recently, I found myself upset with my mother. I was judging her in my thoughts: She's wasting her health; she's out of control; she's behaving like a teenager again. And I was angry because I had come to visit and I couldn't connect with her like I wanted to because she was drunk and upset.

My habit is to not respond. To hold my feelings in. To be offended and never let on. I rationalized that she is an adult, and her personal affairs are not mine to meddle in. But after several days into the visit I became so frustrated with her oscillations from sadness to anger and from sickness to drunkenness. I had to talk to her. I had to express what I felt.

I waited for the right moment, which I decided would be when my brother was present because his presence has always given me calm and courage. When I spoke to her, my voice was wavering and it was hard to look at her, but I said what I wanted to: that I care deeply for her, and I want the best for her, and it hurts me to see her drunk all of the time. She got very upset and said, before walking out, now everyone is against me. I was shaken, and I realized that what I had just done was unprecedented. My mother and I have a history of going to great lengths not to upset each other. We always sided with each other against my father's overbearing, irrational presence, and, as a result, we had somehow agreed to never expressed anger at each other. We were each other's undisputed ally, but that time was over. Now was a new situation that required a new approach.

Several days passed with silent tension between us. Eventually my mother broke down and cried saying that she would give up the drink for me. She said she would never do it for herself, but she would do it for me. Two months have passed and she is still sober. She is glad that she quit drinking and her outlook is more positive.

I feel that together we built a tensegrity structure, a bridge -- that I maintained my integrity by expressing what I needed to, and she chose to be integral by quitting drinking. Words do have power. Words can open what is closed.

Best Regards,

Thank you for a wonderful and mysterious two days in Anaheim. I arrived on Friday evening feeling frazzled...molecules flying everywhere... On Saturday morning, I arrived at the Convention Center surprised by the beautiful sun. Instead of running around looking for people, I sat on the balcony and soaked in the silence of the moment.

When we began the pass for the west wind for the first time, and reached out to open the gap between the worlds, the portion of the room that I could see between my hands began to vibrate and shimmer. It was in motion.

Later, I was amazed at how silent and centered I had become. Instead of bustling molecules flying around in uncoordinated frenzy, I felt - literally and physically - a strong, central core of silence running up through my body and also outside my body, within the front center of my luminous sphere. When people asked me how I felt and what I was experiencing at the workshop, I wasn't quite able to answer them. Then, when Miles described his experience with Taisha, he mentioned that when he stepped through into the other world with her, he looked back and...the world was the same, but somehow different. Yes! That was it exactly. Everything around me was the same...but, at the same time, I knew something about it all was different. I was in another place, where I felt full of - and surrounded by - something serene, where I found enormous affection for the person that I'd been yelling at, just moments before, in my stalking exercise, where time was moving differently, where what I had was entirely sufficient to me.

This was not just a placid or a passive feeling. It is something I can still feel inside me.

I feel full of the wind.

Thank you.

The mood of this past workshop has once again shifted me to a new awareness. I notice more my connection with the tensegrity structure and how being among you, the Instructors, and practitioners has the effect of honing that connection. It is with a strong and deep feeling of love and awe that seems to push me into a particular alignment or perhaps particular alignments. I always thought that only certain people have an impact on me, and that others did not. It is obvious that all people have something to reveal, some unique knowledge to impart, as long as I remain open, aligned, to see and hear it. Practicing the wind passes feels like it is opening me up in all directions; all around me I am encountering quick, soft breezes, or brisk, strong winds, or fairly light, enduring buffeting winds. I have begun to ask these winds for answers, but first I must think of more questions. It is such a new and expansive experience, I have exhausted a small cache of questions, and need to formulate more.

Some sensorial experiences while practicing the passes in the workshop were how my body seems to be moving differently, more fluidly, more efficiently, as if it is moving within a textured atmosphere, sometimes in slow motion, sometimes in no gravity. I try to hold onto the mood of the winds while practicing them. During the pass for the South Wind, while lying down with the soles of the feet together, holding curled hands above the mid section, I observed a feeling of holding a structure emanating from my feet to my womb, still attached, yet I was holding it aloft. I was the structure, yet I was holding it.

Another powerful experience occurred during the Q&A hour, in English section. It seemed a mood came over me of longing, love and awe that seemed to permeate everyone present. When the man who had attended the workshop in NY 10 years ago conveyed his gratitude, the mood touched me and seemed to spread very quickly. This mood lit up the structure for me and I felt very connected to everyone who had participated in the workshop.

One last powerful experience occurred at the intensive practice in L.A. on Monday following the workshop. The turnout was large and it was obvious that such a large number of people needed cooperation in order to practice together in silence. As usual, people remembered passes differently, or remembered certain parts, forgetting other parts. I did not remember all of the passes and was grateful for the numbers of people around me to pull me through them. We got to the pass of the South Wind and nobody was volunteering to lead the pass. We agreed to just begin practicing the pass to see what we would remember. It was a great experience to practice the pass incorrectly, yet remember the correct way as we went along, reaching a consensus fairly quickly. We were able to practice in silence most of the time as the sun set.

Thank you for the inexplicable mood you are bestowing on us.
I send my gratitude on a light wind gaining strength from the east heading west towards you...

Much affection,